Hello lovely Anon (:
Here’s the thing… College really varies depending on both the person, and the school you go to. There are some universities that have notorious reputations for being “party schools” more than others. Often, these universities have football teams, or another sport that is positively huge in that area. A lot of the parties stem from involvement in sports—- or at least, the craziest ones seem to. The university I go to doesn’t have a football team, so that tones it down a bit, and it’s a private one meaning the student population is smaller. That being said, that doesn’t mean that parties don’t happen; I’m sure they do somewhere, because dorm life is dorm life. (I can’t entirely speak from experience as far as dorm life goes though, because I’m a commuter student, meaning I drive to school every day.) But what I’m trying to say by all this is that the environment he’ll be in will, of course, be a factor.
But here’s how I see it: It depends not only on the university your boyfriend is attending, but who he is as a person, individually. Is he focused on his studies? Is he the type of person who enjoys partying and could fall down the slippery slope into crazy college shenanigans? Has he been susceptible to peer pressure in the past? He needs to go into college with a mindset knowing (roughly) what he wants and what he’s set on doing in order to avoid going off the deep end. That’s important, and that will keep him on the track he needs to stay on.
The “crazy college years concept,” in my opinion, mainly stems from people who mean that college is that time for ~finding yourself.~ Trying out new experiences, getting into new things, and yes, not always making the right choices. That’s what they mean by that, and I can understand that to an extent, because college IS about that in a lot of ways… But just because everyone paints this picture of ~COLLEGE GLORY DAYS OF SELF-DISCOVERY~ doesn’t mean it has to equal to partying and drinking and rash decisions you regret the next morning. I have many friends who have gone off to college and avoided those temptations, but have “found themselves” and experienced new things all the same, even far from home. It’s truly about your focus, and learning to balance things in moderation.
From my personal college experience? I cannot even fathom how people have time to think about partying, let alone do the crazy stuff they do. There’s too much hard work and studying to be done haha. Free time is a luxury, at least for me. But I understand not everyone takes 5 classes and wants a specific 4.0 GPA. I get that. I’m the exception. There is definitely fun to be had, in both more positive and negative forms. There’s choices there.
But you know what? Maybe your boyfriend will screw up, while searching for those fun opportunities. Don’t expect him to be perfect all the time. Encourage him to make good decisions as best as you’re able, keep in contact, and attempt to keep your relationship strong. Remind him of why he’s there (once you guys talk it over and you’re aware of his goals). Don’t let him stray too far, but don’t expect him to never stray. He may, but listen: it’s not the end of the world if he does. You’ll try to help him get back on track, and ultimately, if he makes mistakes he WILL learn from them. Remind him that he can fall but get back up again, and be a better person for it.
Don’t fret. He’ll be alright (: And he’ll have fun and learn a heck of a lot while he’s at it, if all goes (mostly) well. Also, ENJOY YOUR SENIOR YEAR. Don’t worry so much about him that you forget to have fun in your own last year of high school. Both you AND him are important! <3
Hope that helps :D Sorry it’s so long. It’s a complicated thing hehe. Good luck!
this made me cry okay
I laughed so hard.
When it was light enough to use the binoculars he glassed the valley below. Everything paling away into the murk. The soft ash blowing in loose swirls over the blacktop. He studied what he could see. The segments of road down there among dead trees. Looking for anything of color. Any movement. Any trace of standing smoke. He lowered the glasses and pulled down the cotton mask from his face and wiped his nose on the back of his wrist and then glassed the country again. Then he just sat there holding the binoculars and watching the ashen daylight congeal over the land. He knew that the child was his warrant. He said: If he is not the word of God God never spoke- Cormac McCarthy [The Road]